Saturday, August 29, 2015

Be Not Afraid

I think we all suffer from acute blindness at times. Life is a constant journey of trying to open your eyes. I'm just beginning my journey, and my eyes aren't fully open yet.

Some things can't be explained. Maybe "explained, but not fully understood. Every life change comes on the heels of tons of advice, predictions, assumptions, and hopefulness. Having a kid is no different. No one can ever explain the magnitude of parenthood. Much like no one can explain the pain of a shark bite until you've felt it. It's like trying to explain an ocean to a blind person, they may grasp the idea, but they won't truly see it, until they see it. 

You are blind before you are a parent. Just like you are blind before go to college, work your first job, love for the first time etc. Words just can't describe. 

So for those adults out there who are terrified of having kids, terrified of losing: freedom, yourself, your money, your fun, your control, your lifestyle, your sleep... Your everything... It's ok. I was terrified too. 

And I did lose all of those things to an extent. 

Don't feel rushed. Live your young life. The young adult life has different lengths for everyone. But even though the thought of losing all of those things is terrifying, it is beautiful. 

New journeys are beautiful. 

Saying goodbye is hard, but saying hello is better. 

"Old Ann" as we call her isn't dead... She's just more tame. 

It's instead of whiskey and coke.... It's coke with some whiskey. That's ok though. There will most likely be a point in your life when you'll be ready to make the switch. Some people's whiskey bottles are bigger than others. 

But regardless of our drink choices, regardless of what you fear, no one can explain the magnitude of parenthood to you. So just get there when you get there. (Having an amazing best friend to go the adventure with, really helps)

Every summer before I had a kid, I kept trying to embrace every single free moment. I would revel in eating outside free of responsibility, I would travel just to travel. I would do whatever I wanted when I wanted. 

The do whatever you want WHEN you want dies but you can still do what you want. 

This summer with Lucas was the best summer of my life.  Not lying. Side note, my kid doesn't chill. He's always on the go and he has since day one. There is no rest for me. But isn't that what I wanted? A life full and a life of experiences. Sure I miss binge watching Netflix... But do I really? Is that life?

For you out there that love life and freedom, imagine taking your best friend to all the places you love. That's parenthood. This summer starting in May I did something every day until August. I never stayed home all day. He wouldn't allow it anyways. 

I made a baby bucket list. I took him everywhere I loved. It was the best summer ever. We went to every park i could find and explored new paths. We went to almost every museum I could think of. We went to Tennesee and did everything I loved as a child. 

He's his most calm and happy when we are out. Exhausting, but amazing. 

I have someone to show the world to. I'm the tour guide for life. What better adventure?

Yes I lost. But what I gained, just can't be described. 

Fun has a new meaning. 
Adventure looks different. 
3 am looks a lot different too. 
But love...

Man, I was blind before. 

So fear not wild adventurer .. You largest climb and most amazing view are right around the bend.