"The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep." -Robert Frost
See Robert Frost knew a little thing about parenthood. Parenthood is lovely, dark, and deep. To say it is only lovely is wrong, and to say it is only dark is wrong. Parenthood is made up of so many things that people forget to mention. That they can't say out loud.
I'm a realist tried and true. Parenthood isn't what you see on facebook posts of "LOVE, SLEEP, and CUDDLES." Well it is, but its also a lot of other things too.
I like to call these, the "shitty" things. Don't get me wrong, when I had him in my arms and we were a family of 3, it literally was the happiest day of my life. BUT you know how we survived the first 8 weeks? Not cuddling... Not gazing into baby eyes... Not kisses on the head.
Hell, you can't cuddle with a baby who doesn't sleep. Well you can try, but it looks like you are trying to restrain a mental patient.
Now before you get your panties in a bunch, this following list is supposed to be funny. But it's also REAL. I wrote this because I think it's important for people to see someone struggle, to have a hard time, to not make it easy. BECAUSE THAT'S REAL. Maybe it was colic, or his reflux, or we didn't know what we were doing, but it was hard. So if a new mom is out there feeling like they are doing something wrong because it's not going as you planned. Revel in our sarcasm.
I hope when Lucas grows up he doesn't feel like he needs to put on a show to make his life look perfect. God knows we don't. If it's any kind of show, its a shit show, haha.
So, here's a list of things Justin and I have said in the first 8 weeks of life. If you can't laugh about it, you'll cry... and no one likes crying.
Try to guess which one I said and which one he said. (Hint: he's the dramatic one.)
We aren't doing this again.
How do people use cloth diapers? This kid pisses 50 times a day.
You don't know skill until you pee while holding a sleeping baby.
I bottle feed my baby breastmilk. Just because he doesn't suck on my tit doesn't mean he won't love me.
Did you wear that yesterday? - Yes, and the day before.
Your kid sleeps through the night at 4 weeks? Really? REALLY?!
Omg it's everywhere! I'm going to throw up.
Oh, OH, he's peeing!
He peed on the pointsettas.
He peed in his hair.
He peed on his back.
He peed on Heather.
He threw up in his eyes.
He threw up, but Boston got it.
He threw up down Kelly's shirt.
He thew up on his polo.
10 diapers a day? Lies.
They want me to cut out diary and caffeine. So... what is left?
Omg, he's shitting. RIGHT NOW!
He threw up on all of my Michigan shirts.
What's that smell?
Did you ever let Boston inside?
Do people REALLY like the newborn phase?
Do I need to wipe that off?
There's poop on your arm.
It's your turn.
Um, aren't you going to change? - No, he'll throw up on me again soon.
It'll get better? When? When he's 20?
Boston ate his mittens.
He seriously just punched me in the face.
YOU wanted this.
Here you drive, and I'll eat. Then I'll drive and you can eat.
He shit so loud I almost dropped him.
The pediatrician said he was dramatic.
Oh God, he's awake.
I know some people love every second, and that is great. I think it's really based on your personality and your baby. I love HIM every second. I do not love having vomit go down my shirt. Call me crazy. If you are sitting there thinking how horrible I am for writing this, go move to planet perfect. (Hey, I told you not to read it.)
All those people that said "It'll get better." I wanted to punch, but hey, they were right. Granted he was never the "all they do is sleep" baby. BUT he sleeps like a 5-6 hour stretch at night and is much easier to figure out now.
Don't worry, he won't sleep now, because I wrote this.
Back to the Robert Frost poem, "But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep."
During labor (don't ask, long story), I faced the dark and I made a promise. If I could just have a healthy baby, I would do anything to raise him to be a great man that made a positive impact on the world. So.. even if I have miles to go before I sleep, its ok, because I have promises to keep.